Kara, all I know is to go into archives and click republish on each individual week. . . I hope that helps. . .

I finished a new fic tonight, entitled A Love That Will Live Forever It's a reunion scene very much inspired by Titanic. I kind of like it . . . it's pure, unadultrated fluff, of course, but it's cute.

You will marry CHRISTIAN (played by Ewan McGregor) from Moulin Rouge, live in a sparkling elephant at the Moulin Rouge, and spend your days righting wrongs and singing songs because all you need is love (and it helps that it's Ewan McGregor you're living with ^_^).

What's YOUR M * A * S * H future?

Ooh. Don't I wish.

From Madi's blog:

"Damn my school for being so damn advanced. I don't want to take the AP!!!!!!! I'm only in eighth grade, dammit!"

EEK! No, you don't! What AP test are you taking? Your school must be muy muy advanced. . . they won't even let us take most AP until we're juniors here!

Anyway. I love Madi. And Kara. And Celyn. And Hannah. That's why the Internet is nifty. . . I would probably never meet any of you guys even if we went to the same school (well, we wouldn't even go to the same school, would we? I'm nearly four years older) because, I'm a senior and I just don't know a lot of eighth graders. My younger sister is in eighth grade. I know her and her best friend. So you would have to be friends with Kat. Besides, unless you frequented the library at lunch, you'd never see me. That's the problem with being shy and studious, I suppose.

I stole this from Madi.

nine things you wear daily:
1. knickers
2. bra
3. little artsy silver cross w/white jewel in the middle
4. toenail polish
5. body splash/perfume
6. lip balm
7. socks
8. shoes
9. shirt

eight movies you'd watch over and over:
1. Moulin Rouge
2. Bridget Jones's Diary
3. Pride and Prejudice (A&E version!)
4. Shadowlands
5. When Harry Met Sally
6. Monsters Inc.
7. Star Wars (All of them)
8. Sense and Sensibility (w/Kate Winslet and Emma Thompson)

seven albums that matter:
1. Moulin Rouge (my special CD that has the entire audio track of the movie on it)
2. Sarah Brightman Sings Andrew Lloyd Webber
3. Sarah McLachlan-- Surfacing
4. Bridget Jones's Diary soundtrack
5. Shrek sountrack
6. Jewel-- Spirit
7. Savage Garden-- Affirmation

six objects you touch every day:
1. laptop
2. clock radio
3. bed
4. clothes
5. fridge
6. bathroom counter

five things you do every day:
1. read
2. write
3. sleep
4. eat
5. daydream

four bands/singers that you couldn't live without:
1. Savage Garden (I don't care if they broke up!)
2. Lifehouse
3. Ewan/Nicole
4. Jewel

three of your favorite songs at this moment:
1. "Tell Me On a Sunday"-- Sarah Brightman
2. "All You Wanted"--Michelle Branch
3. "Whenever, Wherever"--Shakira

two people that have influenced your life the most:
1. My papa
2. L.M. Montgomery (I seriously think I am this woman reincarnated)

one thing you could spend the rest of your life with:
1. self-actualization (I know I'm a dorky psychology student. Sue me)

See my pretty new template! I love it! And I love the quote I used above. . . it’s from Letters to a Young Poet, by Rainer Maria Rilke. It’s a beautiful book and I would recommend it to anyone who wants to write. It has some wonderful advice in there, lovely in its simplicity and wisdom.

I got a nice bit of encouragement today in my AP Language class. I really think I’m going to pass that test with a 5. That would make me very pleased indeed. Scraps of help are always welcome on the lonely climb up the Alpine Path.

And I am actually very lonely here at times. L.M. Montgomery said that “only lonely people keep diaries” and I think she was right. I have wonderful friends, but sometimes there are secrets in my soul that can only be told to someone I love. It seems like everyone is pairing up, and while I don’t want to be stuck in a relationship, I want someone to be my very best friend that I can trust with everything. I want to have someone to sit with and talk about poetry and films and art. I want to have someone who loves Tennyson and Wordsworth as much as I do. Walking under starry skies arm in arm. . . window shopping at Christmas time when everything is illuminated by the tiny lights. Ice skating together. Listening to music. Just sitting together in a room and talking. Long phone conversations. Listening to silly love songs on the radio. Knowing that I can write bad love poetry and he won’t care. . . he’ll think it’s the most beautiful thing I ever wrote.

Anyway. That’s my fairy tale dream. I have a new, sappy girlie screen name for AIM. It’s WistfulFlower.

I’m listening to Sarah Brightman sing this song. It’s so sad. . . and yet beautiful, with this strain of hurt lingering beneath the words. I want to write a songfic about this. . . maybe Christian can sing it or something. It’s making me feel a soft shade of blue. I’m in the right mood to cry over something. Maybe I should watch Moulin Rouge. ::grins::

Don't write a letter when you want to leave
Don't call me at 3 a.m. from a friend's apartment
I'd like to choose how I hear the news
Take me to a park that's covered with trees
Tell me on a Sunday please

Let me down easy
No big song and dance
No long faces, no long looks
No deep conversation
I know the way we should spend that day
Take me to a zoo that's got chimpanzees
Tell me on a Sunday please

Don't want to know who's to blame
It won't help knowing
Don't want to fight day and night
Bad enough you're going

Don't leave in silence with no word at all
Don't get drunk and slam the door
That's no way to end this
I know how I want you to say goodbye
Find a circus ring with a flying trapeze
Tell me on a Sunday please

Don't want to fight day and night
Bad enough you're going
Don't leave in silence with no word at all
Don't get drunk and slam the door
That's no way to end this
I know how I want you to say goodbye

Don't run off in the pouring rain
Don't call me as they call your plane
Take the hurt out of all the pain
Take me to a park that's covered with trees
Tell me on a Sunday please

I think I've changed my blog template three times in the past few days. If only bloody stupid www.blogskins.com would get its act together, I would be happy. But no. . . we're going to have twelve javascript errors. Sheesh.

Last night was not fun. My family is, well, rather screwed up. My mom suffers from serious depression, and she is horrendous to be around at times. And my dad is great, but sometimes he blows up. Sometimes I really wish they'd divorce. Or something, anyways. It's like marriage war zone 101 here.

On to happier subjects because I don't want to talk about that.

I hate time zones! Celyn! Move someplace where I can talk to you when I get home from school! :D

I wrote another chapter for Aspects of Love last night. And I decided I'm going to write the reunion scene after Christian dies. Just a short story, nothing big.

I'm not sure what I'll do when I'm finished with How to Win the Heart of a Poet. I have several ideas that I'm chewing on. . .

1) Broadway Baby, a contemporary MR fic set in. . . guess. . . Broadway! I've already done a rough blocking for it. Hindi Diamante, meet Christopher (Chris) James. (Must pay homage to splendiferous Kara for introducing concept of naming Christian and Satine different names) .

An idealistic playwright, Chris James steps off the plane in New York with $500 in his pocket and a head full of dreams. He loses one of them to a mugger, but is picked up by T.R. Lautrec, the set designer for an off-Broadway theatre, the Rouge. The Rouge is just closing a successful play, Material Girl, which is starring Hindi Diamante. . .

2) Beauty and Sadness, something else I've roughly blocked out. Satine's story before she meets Christian. Hopefully not too cliched. What if Satine had a romance with another of Toulouse's oh-so-talented, charmingly Bohemian, impoverished proteges? (Not love, you understand, but a fling) Sort of a prequel to Price and Aspects.

3) Still in My Heart, a Christian-moves-on fic. I'm becoming rather interested in that subject. And I don't understand why Christian always has to fall in love with a) a relative of Satine or b) someone who has an amazing resemblance to Satine. Not yet blocked out, but I know the name of Christian's new love interest and how he meets her. She's Katherine Thomas (an evolution of Nicole in "Please Remember Me," a quiet settlement worker with pale gold hair and large grey eyes. When Christian finds a starving young boy on the streets of London, he brings little Andrew to the settlement house, where he meets Katherine.

I'm thinking Broadway Baby next. It's just too cool. And it was inspired by the fantabulous XTC.

I know this is a very ugly template, but I'm just waiting for www.blogskins.com to fix the bug that's keeping me from downloading my dream template. Iz so pretty. And need new theme because I was bored with Bohemian Dreams. Have to go think about it. So. . . yesh. That's it. Just to let you know that I haven't completely lost my sense of colour. .

This is just a quick note to everybody: I won't be on as much for next bit of time, because I have a drama competition tomorrow that will take me all day, my dog just had surgery and needs lots of TLC, and my friend just moved back from Washington and I miss her! I know I owe lots of people e-mails. . .I'm sorry. . .

Next year's going to be odd. Chiharu is moving back from Connecticut to go to my college. So is Dawn. That's two of my friends I never anticipated seeing again. It's weird the way you hold onto some friends and have to let go of others, isn't it? Some of the people I called my very dearest friends when I was a sophmore . . . I can't even get along with them now. Actually. . . the only person I'm still friends with from "the Dark Age" is Big Brother. I find that a little bit ironic. Of all the people, I never would have. . .::shakes head:: Well, he's a good kid. It's not his fault I want to staple things to his head a lot of the time. He just says things in ways that make me want to throttle him.

They all think I'm nuts for having online friends. I think they're nuts for not giving people a chance. If I didn't know Celyn, or Kara, or Madi, or Hannah, I'd be missing out. I really would. I tend to be a little too stodgy at times, and my "so-serious, academic chums" are not the best for bringing out the more interesting part of me. That's why I need to spend more time with Meg. And Tosh. And Manders, who I feel very badly about neglecting. :) And what would I do without RMR and sea, who helped me survive high school and my college entry application?

Ah, well. My doggie's up. He has a big cast on his leg, poor little guy. I need to go feed him and make sure he doesn't move around too much. Ciao, loves!

I love the Red Room Diamonds!

I read what Crystal, who I don't even know, posted in her blog, and considered writing a rebuttal, but then I decided it's not worth my time, energy, or anger. I'm sorry she feels that way. Well, not that sorry. If she couldn't take the time to get to know us, it's not worth it. There's more to everyone than what appears to be.

And I love Celyn, who sticks up for me when I get bad reviews.

And now to the issue that has been bothering me for a while.

I'm a hopeless romantic. I want to believe in the better half of people. I believe in truth, beauty, freedom, and love. My friends tell me I'm crazy and I'll get walked on. And you know what? Maybe I will. Maybe I do. I know that people won't listen to what I have to say a lot of the times because they think I'm foolish. Starry-eyed fools? Yes.

But you know what? I believe that there's more to this world than what we see. I believe that love is crucial. Love is like oxygen. And we need it. And stories are a flicker of hope that there is something more to this world. There are people who are like me out there. Why do you think I read so much? It's to remind myself that I am not alone. I'm not alone in this world.

Stupid idealists who get their hearts broken. I've gotten hurt by people before. But damn it, if I'm going to live this life, I'm going to follow the path of ideals I think is pure and right. And God knows, I fail. And people wonder how I can be so smart and so stupid at the same time. Why do I let them get to me? Because it's right. Without people like me, there wouldn't be any sappy poetry written. There wouldn't be love songs and romantic comedies. Because we're the ones who find that there is a rainbow connection. The lovers, the dreamers, and me.

Whether or not you want to admit it, we're the ones that have the rainbow gold. We have the most beautiful dreams in the world. Don't try to take them away. I can see the aching loveliness in a Siberian plain. I can taste the sweetness of springtime air after the rain. Can you?

Be stupid. Take a chance and throw your common sense to the winds. We've been given a gift in this life we live in America. We can afford to dream for a time. Be optimistic. Have wild, unrealistic hopes. Look the sky for answers to questions that you'd never think of asking. Donate money to a cause. Believe in true love. Volunteer to teach kids to read. Wear dresses to school. Hold your mom or dad's hand when you go to the movies.

And next time you see someone with their eyes alight, tell them how happy you are for them. And pray that you can feel the same way.

Why try to shatter glass castles? Most of the time, they collapse on their own.

Why, oh why do people think that Christian needs to spend the rest of his life holed up in his room crying over Satine? Did they not watch the end of the movie?

"You've got to go on, Christian. You've got so much left to give."

I know I'm not imagining that she said these lines. So am I insane for interpreting that Satine wanted Christian to move on or what? News flash: People move on from terrible tragedy. I think it's the ultimate gift to the lover you left to gather the courage to go on without them. Satine's way of giving Christian something to live for was to tell him to tell their story. She did not want him to spend his life grieving over her.

Honestly, if someone can't deal with the fact that Christian will eventually move on (note that I said move on, not forget) they've missed part of the story. The movie ends with "The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return," not "The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and then waste your life crying over your lover when you died."

Ooh, Oscars are back on. End full and splendid auto rant.